“I am the cause and I am the cure.” ~Bloody Mary
Hangover Bloody Mary
Well now you did it. You went too far. You overindulged or, as I like to say, were “overserved.” The night’s revelry has come to roost behind your eyeballs. How can drinking a gallon of liquid leave one so thirsty? Your mouth feels like the floor of a taxi cab. That overwhelming feeling of dread. “God, did I really say that?” Yeah, you did it buddy. You bought yourself a stage 1 hangover. Hey, don’t look at me. That bloody Mary recipe I shared made ONE BLOODY MARY! I never told you to have seven!
The science behind what we call, “the hangover,” is very…scientific. This is not a science project my man. This is you feeling like crap. It’s your own fault. Now take responsibility. Before you go calling your attorney, let me share with you a little something I call, The Hangover Bloody Mary.
This little honey will ease the transition between drunk and sober. That foggy, shaky, achy, netherworld in which you wander before falling asleep on the couch in front of a football game. The hangover bloody Mary will ease the headache and lay you down on the couch like a baby.
Hangover Bloody Mary
Chew four Rolaids, snort two ground aspirin, and grab your cocktail shaker. Hold it still while you fill it with ice. Setting it on a level surface will reduce the shaking. Grab the coffee left in the pot from yesterday and splash 2 ounces of it over the ice. Just do it. Trust me. Light a cigarette and sprinkle a healthy amount of cayenne pepper or Tabasco sauce. Yeah, you’re gonna sweat this out. Stop whining. Hit it with ground black pepper. Now the important part: Vodka. Or as the Russians and I call it, mother’s milk. Don’t go single harness here- let it flow. Top the the shaker with tomato juice or V-8 and shake that mother! Hold the frosty stainless steel purveyor of reparation against your skull and say, “thank you Greg.”
Pour the hangover bloody Mary into a large sturdy glass that won’t break when it slides off your chest and onto the hardwood floor later. Now squeeze fresh lime over the top and sprinkle celery salt.
Now it’s time to set up that skydiving appointment. Remember the immortal words of Ernest Hemingway, our Bloody Mary Poppa. “Always do the crazy things you claim you’re going to do while drinking. If nothing else, it will teach you to keep your mouth shut.