Category Archives: Spicy Blog

Thoughts, tips, rants, and raves about daytime drinking and cocktail mixing

Let’s Get it On


Yes, Let’s Get it On

Let's Get it On
Let’s Get it On

Every so often a rare person emerges within a culture- a person who speaks for an entire generation. Like a conduit, these amazing individuals seem to channel the thoughts, desires, aspirations, and feelings of the masses. Call them prophets. Call them leaders. Call them saviors. Call them baby. Just call them baby.

Marvin Gaye is one such figure. He put into words, and then into song, what we were all feeling. One needn’t be a scholar to understand his message. It is, “Let’s get it on.”

Let’s get it on. Yes, let us all get it on.

Try reading these lyrics out loud. The workplace is an ideal venue. As you read, try to maintain eye contact with the listener. Read slowly and with conviction.

I’ve been really tryin’, baby
Tryin’ to hold back this feelin’ for so long
And if you feel like I feel, baby
Then come on, oh come on

Let’s get it on, ah baby
Let’s get it on, let’s love, baby
Let’s get it on, sugar
Let’s get it on, whoo-ooh-ooh

We’re all sensitive people
With so much to give, understanding, sugar
Since we got to be
Let’s live, I love you

There’s nothing wrong with me
Lovin’ you, baby no no
And givin’ yourself to me could never be wrong
If the love is true, oh baby

Don’t you know how sweet and wonderful
Life can be?
I’m asking you baby
To get it on with me

I ain’t gonna worry
I ain’t gonna push, I won’t push you baby
So come on, come on, come on, come on, come on baby
Stop beatin’ ’round the bush

Let’s get it on
Let’s get it on, you know what I’m talkin’ about
Come on baby, hey hey, let your love come out
If you believe in love,

Let’s get it on, let’s get it on, baby
This minute, oh yeah
Let’s get it on, please,
Please get it on

I know that you know what I’ve been dreaming of
Don’t you baby?
My whole body wants the feeling of love,
Ah help me!

I ain’t gonna worry,
No I ain’t gonna push, I won’t push you baby
So come on, come on, come on, come on, come on darlin’
Stop beatin’ ’round the bush

Oh, gonna get it on, threatening you, baby
I want to get it on, you don’t have to worry that it’s wrong
If the spirit moves you, let me groove you
Good, let your love come down, oh, get it on,

Come on baby, do you know the meaning of being sanctified?
Ah…
Girl, you give me good feelings, so good, something like sanctifying
Oh, do right baby.

Nothing wrong with love, if you wanna love me baby, Just let yourself go, oh, baby, let’s get it on

Songwriter(s): Ed Townsend, Roni Size, Marvin Gaye, Dave (gb1) Townsend Copyright: Mainspring Music Ltd, Jobete Music Co. Inc., Stone Diamond Music Corp., Mca Music Ltd.

What is Molecular Mixology?

Multi-Sensory Mixology With Antonio Lai

Molecular Mixology
Molecular Mixology With Antonio Lai

Hold on to your ice trays- the world of cocktails is changing! Slapping together a drink and tossing it back is a time honored tradition. It gets a job done. There is a movement however that is bringing the act of mixing drinks to a level of high art. Inspired by culinary advances often called, “molecular gastronomy,” a few mavericks are taking cocktails to the next level. Enter Antonio Lai -owner of two hugely popular and world famous bars in Hong Kong; Quinary and Origin.

Molecular Mixology

Antonio and others from the molecular gastronomy school refer to their cocktail recipes as multi-sensory molecular mixology. Quite a mouthful, but also quite a bit more. His creations not only taste delicious, but engage all of the senses. From the sound of Mr. Lai chipping an ice chunk into a perfect sphere,(it reduces dilution of the drink), to the sight of a well dressed young professional gracefully crafting liquid works of art, to the wafting of vapors into your nose, molecular mixology leaves none of the senses unturned. By the time one of Antonio Lai’s drinks actually hits your mouth, you’ve already enjoyed half of the creation!

I was proud of myself when I finally added a cocktail spoon to my arsenal. Antonio Lai’s kit includes, among other tools, a centrifuge and a smoke pump. I first met Antonio while researching new ideas for bloody Mary recipes. He was most gracious and shared some very cool ideas. We share a love for a good bloody Mary and helping others enjoy themselves.

A conversation with Antonio Lai – Multi-Sensory Molecular Mixologist

MBFBM: Hello Mr. Lai. Thank you so much for taking time to answer a few questions for the readers of My Big Fat Bloody Mary. For those who might not know you, please tell us what a molecular mixologist is, and how it is different than a bartender?

Antonio: A molecular mixologist cares about the flavours, textures and aromas. By understanding the concept of molecular gastronomy methods would allow the mixologist to apply the techniques in making cocktails. He recreates the classic with food science. A bartender follows the recipe.

MBFBM: As a child, what did you want to grow up to be?

Antonio: A Jedi as am a great fan of Star Wars. May the force be with you.

MBFBM: Americans are often in a hurry. I watch people drive through fast food restaurants all day. They buy pre-made foods and even bloody Mary mixes. What would you say to the guy rushing through his eating or drinking experience?

Antonio: Depends on the situation. If the guy is alone, would respect his choice but if he has accompany, why not slow down, enjoy the experience and time well spent together slowly?

MBFBM: You were very kind to help me create a bloody Mary mix. I must say, it’s amazing! One component was the smoke of a Cohiba cigar. How did you first imagine that a cocktail could be wed with a fine cigar?

Antonio: Most welcome and was my pleasure!
I have explored making a cocktail with smoked Bacon Bloody Mary and discovered that the smoke simply increases the flavour of the drink.

MBFBM: Would you be willing to offer a simple but unique bloody Mary recipe that our readers could create at home?

Antonio: Sure!
Bloody Mary recipe (same as the one given to you) **See bloody Mary Mix Recipe Below
45ml Absolut Pepper
10ml Lemon juice
5ml Bloody Mary mix
Top with either fresh or half canned of tomato juice, enjoy!

***Antonio Lai bloody Mary mix recipe: Combine a bottle of Worcestershire sauce, 3 grams of coriander, 2g of celery salt, 5g wasabi, 1/2 bottle tocasaco (I used 2 oz fish sauce), one chili pepper in a sauce pan. simmer on low for two hours.  Remove pepper.  Light up a Cohiba cigar. Since I don’t own a smoke machine (yet) I inverted a mason jar over the cigar until it was filled with smoke, then poured the mix into it.  I repeated this step with another Mason jar and poured the mix into it.  Do this a half dozen times.  Then relax and enjoy that cigar!***

MBFBM: Thank you. We’ve watched videos and read about your amazing creations. A question that often comes up is, “My God, how much would a drink like that cost?”

Antonio: The selling price ranges from USD15 to 20.

MBFBM: What’s the worst cocktail you’ve ever been served, and why?

Antonio: A Long Island Tea without ice and the cola was at room temperature.

MBFBM: With all of the world wide attention, the classes you’re teaching, interviews like this, do you still find time to sling cocktails at your bar?

Antonio: I enjoy working at my bars and serve the customers. As long as I am in town, you will find me there everyday (except Sundays when we are closed).

MBFBM: Finally, I know my readers are wondering: The women! They must be all over you! How do you handle that?

Antonio: Unfortunately, I do not find this happening to me!!!

MBFBM: Thanks again Mr. Lai. You have certainly raised the bar. Standing still is not an option. Best of luck to you in your endeavors. How can our readers learn more about you, your bar, your classes, and life style?

Antonio: Thank you for your kind words.
Discover more:

Website: www.multisensorymixology.com
QUINARY on 56-58 Hollywood Road, Central (www.quinary.hk) – the first and only multisensory cocktail bar in Hong Kong opened last year where it will take you on a sensory experience into the new world of cocktails.
ORIGIN on 48 Wyndham Street, Central – the one and only first Gin bar in Hong Kong, recently opened in Spring.

-Greg

Country Music Radio

An Open Letter to Purveyors Modern Country Music

From Greg Tooke -Editor in Chief, MBFBM Press

Country Music Radio

I’d like to take minute to ask the performers, promoters and fans, (especially those in the workplace), of what is currently being called country music to kindly shut the Hell up.Country Radio

Without regard to the sacrilege it is to use a word that has described such legends as Hank Williams, Ernest Tubb, Kitty Wells and Bill Monroe to promote a watered-down market driven manure spreading machine, take a minute to consider the rest of us.

Since this genre has managed to find the lowest common denominator of intelligent listener, it now permeates public gathering places. Like second-hand smoke, this music has serious detrimental effects upon these environments. Workers and diners have a right to air that is clean of such pollutants as Toby Keith and Carrie Underwood.

While these “artists,” have certainly paid their dues: Those jeans cost hundreds of dollars. Capped white teeth aren’t cheap and are often not covered by insurance. Don’t think that, even though it’s a tax deduction, the tanning bed on Keith Urban’s tour bus came without considerable sacrifice. It’s just that, well, pop music already sucks. And when you sing it with a southern drawl, you don’t make it country. You just make it stupid.

The other day I walked past a job site and overheard one of these no-talent ass clowns spew a barrage of great country artist names, “Johnny Cash, Waylon, George Jones,” and then go on to commit acts of music that any one of the named artists would surely respond to with a firm backhand.

Don’t get me wrong. People have a right to listen to whatever they like. There is room for all of us at God’s table; those who share my taste for fine country and western music, and those who are less fortunate. But let’s stop calling this stuff country. Let’s stop playing it in the workplace. And for God’s sake, let’s keep it away from our children.

Try a nice cocktail- We’ve got the recipes!

La Crosse Country band
Big Liquor

*The views expressed in this article are of the writer, but also reflect those of the staff of My Big Fat Bloody Mary.

Bloody Mary Ingredients

What are the Ingredients for the Best  Bloody Mary?

bloody mary ingredients
Fresh is best for your bloody Mary

When it comes to Bloody Mary’s, ingredients can make or break your cocktail. It doesn’t matter how skilled you are as you blend and shake your bloody Mary recipe. To make the very best bloody Mary mix,  pay close attention to detail. If your ingredients are stale or of low quality, your drink will suffer. As a wise man once said, “garbage in – garbage out!” Let’s take a moment to study the importance of good ingredients.

To keep things simple, let’s just discuss the most common bloody Mary ingredients:
Tomato Juice
Vodka
Celery Salt
Lemon or Lime
Black Pepper
Worcestershire Sauce
Cayenne Pepper or Other Heat
Horseradish

Tomato Juice: I listed this as the first bloody Mary ingredient for a reason. All recipes begin here. The drink contains more tomato juice than any other ingredient. I recommend taste testing a few juices to see which taste the best on their own. In a perfect world, we’d all press our own fresh tomato juice. Short of that, you will find huge differences between juices. I’ve had good luck with Sacramento brand. Some like V-8 tomato cocktail. Be careful- the original has lots of salt. I use the low sodium variety. Bottom line: Don’t skimp on this important part of any bloody Mary!

Vodka: If you’re like me, this ingredient is a very close second to tomato juice in terms of volume in the drink. If you can afford it, go ahead and buy the best. I would. If you’re like me however, you will realize that, unless you really mix a strong bloody Mary, the vodka is NOT that important. I never thought I’d say it, but it’s true. The bloody Mary contains so many ingredients, that a lesser vodka can usually suffice.

Celery Salt: this is one of my favorite seasonings. It gives the drink that distinctive fresh lip-smacking quality. Be careful though. Most celery salts you’ll find on your store shelf are mostly salt and often quite old. I’ve decided to grind whole celery seed myself and add a little salt. It gives me greater control. Most co-ops or better grocery stores do sell pure ground celery salt. buy it and store it in a cool dark place.

Lemon or Lime: The key to achieving a good fresh finish to your bloody is citrus.  I like to use a wedge of each.  Limes are nice because they won’t clog your straw or the spigot of your decanter with seeds and pulp.  Modern genetic engineering and chemical use has ruined these fruits for me.  Lemons seem to have more peel that flesh.  I buy organic and advise my friends to as well.  Again- don’t skip this one !

Black Pepper : I will not bend on this one.   Grind it fresh. Period!  Mix it in your bloody Mary mix, but also grind a little on the top of your cocktail before serving.  There’s nothing better than the smell of fresh black pepper as that bloody Mary approaches your lips.

Worcestershire Sauce: This mysterious sauce, pronounced, “wurst-a-shire,” is the ingredient that gives the bloody Mary her bold, savory, and satisfying flavor.  Lea & Perrins owns the market.  Theirs is a solid product.  I use it 90% of the time.  Again, watch the salt.  I use their reduced sodium variety.  I’m not a health nut, I just don’t like the cumulative effect of multiple ingredients that each bring a boat load of salt to my cocktail table.  It is, in my estimation, THE most common mistake of bartenders- adding too much salt, without even knowing it.

Cayenne Pepper: This is where tastes really diverge.  Level of heat varies wildly between individuals.  One trick I’ve learned is to buy the lower heat, (as measured in skovel units), cayenne pepper powder.  This allows you to add more without risking a law suit.  Always buy fresh and in small amounts to avoid using stale flavor.  Another option for bringing heat to your cocktail is to infuse your vodka with a fresh pepper or two for about a week.  Jalapeño works beautifully!

Horseradish: This last ingredient is last for a reason.  It’s completely optional.  Some people will refuse a bloody Mary if they see this ingredient floating in it.  Ask before adding it.  With that said, fresh horseradish can add an interesting dimension to your bloody Mary. If you’ve ever felt that eye-watering sensation as it’s essence hits the nasal passages, you know what I mean.  The main caution here: Use fresh ground, from the refrigerated section, NOT a sauce!

Good luck to you as you assemble your arsenal of bloody Mary weapons.

-Greg Tooke My short bio
Cheers!

Guide to Awful Cocktails

Ever wonder why that bloody Mary drink sucks so bad? The research division of My Big Fat Bloody Mary LLC Has taken the mystery out of this age old question. As it turns out, crappy bloody Mary’s do not occur as a random event.

Bloody Mary Drink
Man With Awful Bloody Mary

You might assume that awful bloody Mary cocktails are the product of a careless bartender, but research shows that much more goes into these abominations. Based on these findings, We have assembled a list and info-graphic of the top causes of awful Bloody Mary drinks. Get out your notepad, a pen, and a willingness join a growing movement!

How to Make an Awful Bloody Mary Drink

We interviewed some of the nations worst purveyors of bloody Mary’s to get an inside look into what makes these drinks so awful. Glen Fraunkrum of the infamous Quick~n~Sweaty Pub and Eatery in Omaha’s trendy south side shared some of his secrets.

Quick~n~Sweaty Pub & Eatery

“We use a mix but I like to jazz mine up with pickle juice and some of the other stuff from under the bar.” Glen has been crafting his dreadful morning cocktails for over 4 months. “Folks like to order my bloody’s cuz they never know what I’m gonna do!” With a wink and a toothless grin, Glen produces a bottle of A-1 steak sauce.”No two are alike and I think people like that. One always does the trick. They never seem to need a second one.”

Glen takes pride in the fact that he has saved the bar over ten dollars since starting at the Quick~n~Sweaty. “The last guy was fillin’ them glasses plum full of ice! I says, it’s like toilet paper sheets: ya only need one or two!” Glen sprinkles salt over a lone bobbing ice cube, sticks a toothpick sized straw in the drink, and lays a wilting pickle across the top.

It turns out Glen is not alone in his insistence upon turning out tepid vessels of varying putridity. Researchers found that his technique follows a pattern seen in most of the top producers of God awful bloody Mary drink concoctions.  Mary Ledbottom of Anchorage’s Spotted Dick Saloon summed it up succinctly: “We get kinda busy in here. Bloody Mary’s take a long time to make. I work nights as a security guard and I don’t really need that. I try to push the Bud Light. it’s on tap!”

The writing staff at MBFBM reviewed the findings of the crappy bloody Mary project and compiled a list.

The Ten Best Ways to make a dreadful Bloody Mary.

#10. Start with a mix but don’t stop there.  Add more crap, the more salt the better- a practice we call, “shit-piling.”

#9. Make a batch up in advance and let that jug sit for days.

#8. Don’t be predictable.  Consistency is THE TOP reason that bars get too much business!

#7. Serve it warm. Throw an ice cube or two, but go easy.  If God intended us to drink cold beverages, he’d have made breast milk cold, right?

#6. Use the skinniest damned straw you can find.  There’s nothing more fun than watching someone suck their face into a glass, trying get that awful drink to their mouth.

#5. Add salt.  I don’t know, other people do it!

#4. Never use fresh citrus.  It makes people smack their lips and order more.  You don’t want that!

#3. Don’t add an item of garnish unless it’s wilted and unimaginative.  This sounds obvious but you’d be surprised by how many people use garnish as a way to get people to talk about their bloody’s, take pictures of them, and bring their friends to get more.  Bull-Shit Man!

#2. Never, ever serve your bloody with an icy cold beer.  If someone asks for a chaser, look at them as if they’re speaking french.  If they continue, and ask for a beer, snap at them, ” I thought you wanted a bloody Mary!”

#1. Start with a mix and shit-pile that thing like a MOTHER!

-Greg Tooke My short bio

Bloody Mary
Bloody Mary

Big Fat Bloody Mary Interview

An Interview with My Big Fat Bloody Maryunknown

Thousands of bloody Mary recipe seekers have turned to the popular website, My Big Fat Bloody Mary, for bloody Mary mixes and recipes. The writers and staff at MBFBM have, in some readers’ opinions, taken a simple hangover cure and turned it into a colossal waste of time. Pages and pages of recipes and techniques are handed down with such confidence and authority that many have accused the authors of outright arrogance. One of the staff members has even dressed himself in a tuxedo and shot a video designed to teach the masses how to make a bloody Mary. In the video, a high priced actor who calls himself, “Greg,” denounces such gourmet bloody Mary standard elements as measuring cups. He goes on to tell viewers to avoid taverns that use any type of bloody Mary mix, instead offering what he calls the best bloody Mary recipe.

Recent reports that My Big Fat Bloody Mary and fresh bloody Mary mix purveyor Demitri’s have struck a deal sent shock waves throughout the bloody Mary community. In a recent bloody Mary mix review, the cocktail mogul raved about the Demitri’s line of bloody Mary seasonings.  Apparently the bloody Mary elite at MBFBM plan to start advertising and promoting Demitri’s line of bloody Mary seasonings, rimmers, garnishes and even beef straws.

I caught up with a spokesperson from My Big Fat at their corporate offices in downtown Chicago for an exclusive interview. I arrived promptly. A buxom secretary with too much hair and too little skirt greeted me. “It’ll be just a minute. We’re running a bit late.” She then picked up a 16oz red plastic cup, filled it with ice, and topped it with Ketel One vodka. She disappeared into the adjoining office and returned without the red cup. “He’s ready now.”

The spokesman insisted upon anonymity, so I’ll simply refer to him as MBFBM.

GREG: Good morning and thanks for taking time for this interview.
MBFBM: Good morning. It’s my pleasure. Care for a drink?
GREG: Ha ha, no thanks. It’s 8a.m.!
MBFBM: Well, it’s 9 a.m. somewhere.
GREG: Well, I want to get right into this. According to sources rather high up in your organization, My Big Fat Bloody Mary plans to endorse and even promote products from the bloody Mary seasoning gurus at Demitri’s. Forgive me but, hasn’t your site consistently railed against pre-made bloody Mary mixes?
MBFBM: Well, it’s true that we have never endorsed or supported a pre-mix of any kind.
GREG: So, might your critics not accuse you of selling out?
MBFBM: You’re damned right we’re selling out! This stuff is fantastic. The ingredients are nothing that we wouldn’t put in our own bloody’s. All four flavors; the Classic Recipe, Extra Horseradish, Chilis and Peppers, and Chipotle -Habenero are better than 95% of the bloody Mary’s I’ve been served. I can whip up a fantastic bloody Mary in less than 1/3 the time it normally takes me. That leaves more time for drinking and fun.
GREG: So, you’re doing this for altruistic reasons only?
MBFBM: We’re not stupid. These guys are paying us a TON of money.
GREG: Your critics have accused your organization of creating three different websites that are all basically the same and simply designed to increase traffic to your material. What do you say to this?
MBFBM: That is absolutely UNTRUE! We have four different websites that are all basically the same and simply designed to increase traffic to our material.
GREG: Most of my readers have a fairly short attention span so let me close by asking what your future plans are in the gourmet bloody Mary niche.
MBFBM: I think I’ll have a Chilis and Pepper from Demitri’s. Sure you won’t join me?Demitri's Bloody Mary Seasoningsoldballs
-Greg Tooke My short bio

Demitri’s Bloody Mary Seasonings